Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Shana Tova! Happy New Year!
Yesterday I went with Matan and Yael to Matan's mom's house in Haifa for Rosh Hashana with the Kreiger Family. It was like salve to my family-missing wounds! We only went for the afternoon and evening because we had to drive the In-Law's of Matan's brother there and back again. Matan and Yael are back up there today; I had other stuff to do...some homework...and a New Year's party at Zochrot-member Norma's house to go to tonight.
Wow, yesterday was awesome! I got teary-eyed (no one noticed) during the gift exchange because of just how good it felt to be with a family! It was so wonderful to see the generations together (from two-week old (teenie-weenie-primi) baby to 92 year-old (sharp as as knife) great-grandmother). I really like Matan's family; I am so grateful to know him and Yael and was blessed to be a part of their family event.
Rosh Hashana is one of the two big tribal feasts in Israel (the other being Passover in March / April). That means that it is a MUST for all the tribes to get together and to celebrate together. Matan's family is not religious, at all, which probably made the whole experience that much easier for me (a goy) to participate and celebrate with them. We did follow some of the traditions: we dipped apple slices in honey to symbolise the desire for a sweet coming year. We said ShaNa ToVa a million times and clanked our wine glasses together. They exchanged gifts, during the meal's INTERMISSION, and hugged and kissed each other. I am really digging the whole kiss-the-cheeks way of greeting and saying goodbye to people; it seems like a real sense of togetherness. I am not too much of a participant because I still feel kinda funny about how to do it; but after a glass of two of wine, I was kissing the grandma and the mother and aunt, too!
We arrived at around 5 pm and I came dressed up as nice as I could. In fact, I looked like an orthodox Jew with my black pants and white dress shirt. Matan had a really cool get-up from India: the traditional Indian garb of long-shirt and matching pants. White as snow and really cool; Yael had a beautiful white dress on. Everyone was dressed up in some form or another - not gaudy or over-the-top but respectful and celebratory. White is the predominat colour for the New Year - start out in purity and freshness and all that.
When we first arrived, I sat around looking at a picture book of the Golan Heights for an hour or so while the family fussed over each other and the meal preparations. I was able to help out a little bit, running an errand or two but whenever I entered the kitchen, the women quickly shooed me out. We had agreed that all communication would be done in Hebrew. I didn't want them to have to adjust anything on account of me. Sure, in side conversations I was able to speak English; and Matan or his brother, Guy, or any number of people were eager to translate stuff for me. Often, however, I was able to understand the gist of what was being said - or at least a hint of it.
The Meal: We started out with apple slices dipped in honey and chocolate cake - as I mentioned above it is to symbolise the hoped-for sweetness of the year to come. Then we had the traditional fish served to us. The Kreiger family is not religious enough to serve fishheads, much to my relief. I can't remember what kind of fish it was - or rather what kind of dish it was named. It was like a fish paste, formed together in sausage shapes. It was served cold and I got a very small portion because they were sure I would hate it. I was told that if I could eat this, I could eat anything. I was a little nervous. I put on some red-coloured horseradish and had at 'er. It wasn't so bad, at all. I didn't expect it to be cold, so that was weird, at first, but I ate my piece and told them all it was just fine. I DIDN'T say it was the best thing I'd ever tasted....Geoff!
The next course was the salads and baked salmon. There was a cabbage salad, a really good lettuce and mixed veggies and fruit salad; avocado, liver-paste (which I tried just to say I tried it...yes, I ate MEAT yesterday). There was an eggplant salad, a cus-cus salad, a beautiful and very tasty half-salmon (that reminded me of how my mom cooks it). There was bread, pickles, soda water and of course the wine. I am sure I am forgetting stuff, too; I was amazed at the amount of food for only thirteen people to partake of.
After the salad course, which was more like a meal in itself, we had soup. It was chicken broth with chicken-filled vreneki's in it (like perogies). Then there was the INTERMISSION where they exchanged presents and talked and laughed and we could get up and stretch our legs if we wanted. Then we had the main course. There was roasted chicken and yams. There was INCREDIBLE roast beef and it's sweet mouth-watering juices; there was meatloaf that blew my mind! This meatloaf had nuts in it and fruit - both dried and fresh. It was so good. Matan had like half of the whole dish - it really made me laugh.
After all of this, we still had a variety of cakes for dessert. Then coffee and tea and beer if one desired. It was such a good time. We finished eating at around 11 or so, and I got home at 1:30am.
And today, they are doing it all again! Isn't that incredible!
I think that being with the Kreiger family and seeing them love and value each other did me a whole pile of good. First, as I mentioned earlier, it allowed me to be apart of a family and to be swept up in the love. But second, I genuinely appreciated these people and their culture and tradition. We did talk a bit about the conflict between Israel and Palestine. Matan seems to get a kick out of telling people that I am working for a "pro-Palestinian" group but that it's a good thing I met him because he's showing me a more balanced perspective. So, when it came up, Guy's father-in-law said that he was born and raised in Yugoslavia and it is the same thing there between the Christians and the Muslims. The boyfriend of their aunt also told me that even though in Israel Jews have the larger population, when it comes to the Middle East, the Arabs by far outnumber the Jews and they need to "hold on." I really appreciated hearing their views even if I didn't agree entirely. I could have added that even the Jordanians referred to Palestinians as "dirty" and didn't want them in their country immediately after the Nakba in 1948. I could have added that the assumption that Palestine will just attack if given the chance is definitely fostered by the constant Israeli degradation and provocation of violence and psychological warfare. I could have added that even though the Kreiger family was average middle-class, they would be considered EXTREMELY wealthy by the Palestinian standards that I have been exposed to.
I didn't add these things because I was a guest and it was not my place to confront them about big themes like "occupation" on New Year's Eve. No. I didn't even want to say those things because I am here to learn. I am here to be incarnate in Israeli culture and hopefully bring a greater understanding of the run-of-the-mill Israeli perspective of "the situation" to MCC and also attempt at fairness to the "sides" in my own thinking and as I represent myself to you folks.
I realise that I have done a lot of refining in my thoughts and opinions since I came here; that is certainly to be expected. Matan said yesterday that maybe now I won't be "pro-Palestinian." I told him that I was "pro-humanity," that I have to be if I am to justify living outside of Canada. He doesn't understand what I understand but I don't understand what he does. For instance, Sunday afternoon we got in a great debate over whether or not Palestine would attack if given the opportunity and whether or not Israel can change their behaviours and policies towards Palestine in order to begin to change the relationships and perceptions that both "sides" have with the other. Then, on Sunday night he was reading the New Testament to me in Hebrew (the gospel of John) and it was really cool. We jammed out some music together, had a rap session, and sang a late-night rendition of Knocking on Heaven's Door. It is very healthy to have friendships where you can vehemently disagree on "big things" while finding unity and knowing how to enjoy each other and laugh...which may even be "bigger things" in the long run.
So, the next day, when I was at his family's house, I understood a little bit more about the importance of family, the desire to live freely and without fear, the collective experience (baggage) that our country's have on us (i.e. mandatory military service); it was remarkable how similar people seem to be in some aspects.
Just to close, let me say this about Israeli culture. There are kittubzim all over the land - some legal, some illegal (according to the UN). But the point is that Israelis live in community with each other. They share their lives with each other. Family is of incredible importance and it really makes me evaluate my own Canadian presuppositions regarding community and family. I am so individualistic and so carefully guarded about my personal space - it really is an interesting lesson to see these people, who look exactly the same as me, show me a different way. That said, let me say this. All the young people in this land, since it was "established" have served mandatory military service: three years for men, two for women....or should I refer to them as boys and girls? 18 years old is the entry age. There is systematic over-working, under-sleeping and participation in too much conflict that dehumanises both Arabs and Israelis. As a result, when people get out of the military they just want to live their lives. It is custom to go away for a long time (up to a few years) traveling to South America, the Far East, or India, to get back to the humanity that was threatened during the military service. My point being this: I have heard it said that there are no fist fights in Israel. They have seen real conflict and they don't care to engage in it as adults. Yes, it can be easily disputed; it can also be scoffed at that this nation lets their young people screw themselves up through battle, perpetuating the alienation of Palestinians (and all Arabs) to the Hebrew speaking Israeli.
But it is what it is, right now; and one does what one can. As Eitan Bronstein told me even again, Sunday during lunch: there is no sense in thinking one can make major changes: it is hopeless to think that there will ever be peace in this land. But in order to live with ourselves, we take a really small piece of the pie and see what we can do. Don't think about the big picture: it's too overwhelming; think only of the small area you can have impact. The words "WIlliam Wilberforce" scream within me when I hear those words; but who am I? A washed-up actor living in the bloodied Holy Land.
So, I leave you with these thoughts. Certainly give fodder for a really interesting discussion, I think.
All the best,
D BLOCK OUT
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